| |
| |
|
Happiness Information |
|
|
|
Our Feelings and Attitudes Around Happily Ever After
Our feelings and attitudes have a huge impact on our ability to achieve 'happily ever after.' Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict? Feelings are what they are. We can't force them. You fall madly head over heels in love with someone or you don't. 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink' comes to mind as I try to explain feelings. There is no magical way to change how we feel. Our feelings aren't right or wrong, they just exist. Feelings are very powerful and definitely have a control over how we make choices and how we move through life. Think about the money, time, and focus we put into trying to feel good and avoiding feeling bad. It goes against human nature to want to feel bad. Feelings are based in emotions. Emotions come from the heart. Therefore, I don't think we can change them from within our logical minds. If your girlfriend leaves you, then you feel hurt. You cannot be expected to simply stop feeling hurt. You will feel some level of sadness until you have finished feeling sad. It is possible to distract yourself for awhile, but the feelings will just lay dormant until you allow them time to fully run their course. There's nothing wrong with wanting to distract yourself from the bad feelings of missing your girlfriend, but it will slow down the process. There are constructive things you can do to aid the processing of your feelings. Regardless of how you handle your feelings, you're going to feel what you feel until it works it's way through your heart. You might always miss her and feel a slight tug at your heart when you think back, but the overwhelming sadness will eventually pass. It always does. That's why they say 'time heals all wounds.' You can't maintain any one feeling indefinitely. Emotions by nature are shifting and uncontrollable. They simply are what they are. What about our attitudes? An entire multi-million dollar industry has been built around the power of a positive attitude. The industry wouldn't have survived and thrived as it has if it wasn't a valid and real concept. Our attitudes are rooted in our belief systems. Our belief systems are chosen by our logical minds. Therefore, it is possible to make a conscious decision to change it. Our minds have complete and total control over what we believe. I don't think I need to bore you with another longwinded speech about the powers of a positive attitude. If you've ever tried it, then you have proven for yourself that it is possible to make an internal adjustment regarding your attitude. So, which is stronger? Which has more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower the other? Let's say that you find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That's a feeling, an emotion. It comes from your heart. However, at the same time, you are entertaining a very pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude comes from your mind. Which will win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It's hard to say. If you change your attitude, then the feelings of being in love can grow and perhaps become a wonderful source of joy for you. If you hold on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it will wear on the loving feelings and you will eventually stop loving that other person. What if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, that they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings can definitely have an effect on your attitude, but more often than not, your attitude wins. Your attitude is not more powerful because it's more important than your feelings. It's more powerful because it's more stubborn than your feelings. Let's look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We've seen people fall madly in love with someone who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were not able to overpower their attitude. They believe 'it's never going to work out anyway' and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to further continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The reason the attitude wins the battle more often then our feelings is because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force. What if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you might be rejected by the opposite sex, but you had a positive attitude towards love in general because you'd had 'happily ever after' role modeled to you as a child, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again. If your feelings and attitudes match, then you have an inner balance and harmony within yourself. Isn't this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude comes from your head and feelings come from your heart. When the two agree you are able to focus and move forward with confidence. When the two are at war you have to decide which is right... the heart's feelings or the head's attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from a detached perspective, we can evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which one should lead us. Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books. Our feelings and attitudes have a huge impact on our ability to achieve 'happily ever after.' Are feelings and attitudes the same thing or different? Does one cause the other to happen? Which one has more power over how we respond? Does the person experiencing them have any choice in the matter? What if they are in conflict? Feelings are what they are. We can't force them. You fall madly head over heels in love with someone or you don't. 'You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink' comes to mind as I try to explain feelings. There is no magical way to change how we feel. Our feelings aren't right or wrong, they just exist. Feelings are very powerful and definitely have a control over how we make choices and how we move through life. Think about the money, time, and focus we put into trying to feel good and avoiding feeling bad. It goes against human nature to want to feel bad. Feelings are based in emotions. Emotions come from the heart. Therefore, I don't think we can change them from within our logical minds. If your girlfriend leaves you, then you feel hurt. You cannot be expected to simply stop feeling hurt. You will feel some level of sadness until you have finished feeling sad. It is possible to distract yourself for awhile, but the feelings will just lay dormant until you allow them time to fully run their course. There's nothing wrong with wanting to distract yourself from the bad feelings of missing your girlfriend, but it will slow down the process. There are constructive things you can do to aid the processing of your feelings. Regardless of how you handle your feelings, you're going to feel what you feel until it works it's way through your heart. You might always miss her and feel a slight tug at your heart when you think back, but the overwhelming sadness will eventually pass. It always does. That's why they say 'time heals all wounds.' You can't maintain any one feeling indefinitely. Emotions by nature are shifting and uncontrollable. They simply are what they are. What about our attitudes? An entire multi-million dollar industry has been built around the power of a positive attitude. The industry wouldn't have survived and thrived as it has if it wasn't a valid and real concept. Our attitudes are rooted in our belief systems. Our belief systems are chosen by our logical minds. Therefore, it is possible to make a conscious decision to change it. Our minds have complete and total control over what we believe. I don't think I need to bore you with another longwinded speech about the powers of a positive attitude. If you've ever tried it, then you have proven for yourself that it is possible to make an internal adjustment regarding your attitude. So, which is stronger? Which has more influence over our choices and behaviors? Does one overpower the other? Let's say that you find yourself falling madly head over heals in love with someone. That's a feeling, an emotion. It comes from your heart. However, at the same time, you are entertaining a very pessimistic attitude towards love and relationships in general. The attitude comes from your mind. Which will win out, the feelings of falling in love or the dark attitude? It's hard to say. If you change your attitude, then the feelings of being in love can grow and perhaps become a wonderful source of joy for you. If you hold on tightly to your attitude, then eventually it will wear on the loving feelings and you will eventually stop loving that other person. What if the feelings of love were so amazingly powerful, that they caused the attitude to change and your core belief system about love and relationships changed too? Your feelings can definitely have an effect on your attitude, but more often than not, your attitude wins. Your attitude is not more powerful because it's more important than your feelings. It's more powerful because it's more stubborn than your feelings. Let's look again at our example where the feelings are positive and the attitude is negative. We've seen people fall madly in love with someone who loved them in return. These same people had bad attitudes about love and relationships in general. Their feelings were not able to overpower their attitude. They believe 'it's never going to work out anyway' and create a self-fulfilling prophecy. By not believing in love, they destroy their good relationship and then feel hurt by the failed relationship. Their minds take that as evidence to further continue with the negative attitude regarding love. The reason the attitude wins the battle more often then our feelings is because feelings are ever-changing and flexible while attitudes are often locked into place and become an unmovable force. What if the feelings were bad and the attitude was good? If you felt afraid that you might be rejected by the opposite sex, but you had a positive attitude towards love in general because you'd had 'happily ever after' role modeled to you as a child, then you could choose to keep moving forward despite your feelings of fear. Your attitude would win out over your feelings once again. If your feelings and attitudes match, then you have an inner balance and harmony within yourself. Isn't this the age-old battle between heart and head? Attitude comes from your head and feelings come from your heart. When the two agree you are able to focus and move forward with confidence. When the two are at war you have to decide which is right... the heart's feelings or the head's attitude? Perhaps in sitting quietly and looking inward at our feelings and attitudes from a detached perspective, we can evaluate and chose for ourselves on a case-by-case basis which one should lead us. Copyright 2004, Skye Thomas, Tomorrow's Edge About The Author Skye Thomas began writing books and articles with an everyday practical approach to life in 1999 after twenty years of studying spirituality, metaphysics, astrology, personal growth, motivation, and parenting. After years of high heels and business clothes, she is currently enjoying working from home in her pajamas. Go to www.TomorrowsEdge.net to read more of her articles and to get a free preview of one of her books.
MORE RESOURCES:
Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Many Blessings "Reflect on your present blessings of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some." Charles DickensWe all have many blessings. Being Happy How can one be happy? Is it a tough question? To some it may be but not to all of us.Happiness is like a ray of sunlight which warms us and keeps us glowing. A Shortcut to Happiness -- Vote with Live 8 Did you see any of the Live 8 performances in support of stopping poverty in Africa? Here's your chance to create a shortcut to your own happiness by voting to help others. You can support the creation of the happiness of survival for them. Happiness - A Matter of Focus Imagine for a moment you have been given a task. That task is to count the number of times five basketballs are passed between a group of people who are running around each other. The Capacity for Happiness and Respectability Humans are liable to experience a variety of afflictions, but they are commonly endowed with a capacity for happiness and respectability. There is no guarantee, however, that they will exercise this capacity at all times and to the maximum, whatever happens. Stop Sickies and Make People Happy At Work If you're an employer or a manager then work place absenceis costing you money, inconvenience, and upsetting yourcustomers. And as we all know, not all days taken off workare due to genuine sickness. 10 Ideas to Jump Start Your Self-Confidence To begin feeling that first spark of self-confidence within you, try as many of these as you like. It's important to enjoy yourself along the way. Design Psychology: How to Create Happy Homes Using Scents Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger powerful memories, whether we're consciously aware of it or not.Scents and FeelingsOur olfactory system sends a chemical message about the scents around us through the limbic part of our brain, which is the oldest part of our brain. It Costs Nothing To Smile I like to be around positive people, people who tend to be happy, who look on the bright side of life. Far too many people walk around in what seems like a depressed state. Being Together When it comes to happiness, togetherness is probably the most common cause of such feelings.Being together means more than just close proximity. The Great Opportunity I assume you want to be happier. Searching for greater happiness is a wonderful thing whatever level of happiness you are currently at. Self-Worthiness Worthiness-word origin. Worth and worship both come from Old English weorth, worth value. Quick Steps On Being Happier Want to be happier?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice. If You Can Dream It you Can Do It! Confuscious, the Chinese Philospher is quoted as saying : "I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. Why Choosing To Be Happy Is Not Enough I talked in a recent article about how every moment in life gives you a choice. You can choose a path that leads to happiness, or you can choose a path that leads to unhappiness. Discover a Momentary Miracle Each moment is filled with miracles - very special treasures to discover. All we need to do to see miracles is look with a spirit of gratitude. Ode to Chocolate Chocolate delays reality. When I am eating chocolate, everything is on hold: anxiety, panic, frustrations, and insecurity. Love, Uncles, and Etymology Thwack! . . 7 Unique Ways To Make Someone Smile Do you want to put a smile on someone's face? Maybe make their day a little bit brighter? It doesn't have to take much time or money on your part. In fact, many things can be done as a part of your normal routine and cost little or nothing. How To Be Happy Happiness is a state of mind, so your state of mind at this moment makes all the difference.You need to ask yourself, is it what you want, the thing that is going to make you happy?If the answer is yes, does this mean that what you have must not be good enough?We go through life searching, searching for a better job, better house, better car, better relationship, sometimes for many people this is a full time "occupation, always searching!It seems to be a vicious circle for many of us, because the last job was the better one, now it is not, somehow it's lost its appeal, just as when you bought your car, it was going to make you happy but that was only for a short time, you soon became unhappy once you saw another newer model, so the car that was your dream car is no longer a dream.
|
| home | site map |
| ©EmptyNestNow.com 2006 |
